We never teach our boys no!

Every woman has been sexually harassed! The contents of this statement from my mentor were horrifying, so horrifying that it took me few months till l could accept its accuracy. I then went on a journey to discover why, why after so many years of civilization we have so many cases of sexual harassment. l had my light bulb moment when l came to this statement, we don't teach our boys no!

Many people will not readily accept this to be true and one of the main reasons is because of our limited view on what we term sexual harassment. Whenever the word is thrown around we always think about rape. We intentionally forget that uncle who first looked at your breasts when you were thirteen as if they were a piece of biltong just waiting to be devoured. We forget the group of boys in the hood that thinks it's alright to comment about your fat ass or lack thereof whenever you pass by. Yes, my fellow sisters, we forget about that boss who whenever you are alone, accidentally with intention touches your shoulders to make a point. We forget all these incidences because we have been taught to expect and accept this behavior from the males in our society as normal.

 We're always making excuses for boys and hence we never tell them no. We teach them that they can have whatever they want, whenever they want, and with whomsoever they want. Society teaches boys that they have to be respected, that they have to be loved, and that they are the most superior beings on earth, for only one reason, that they are male. They are taught to expect everything while giving nothing except to rule.

When they are young we give it to them, where we can't give it, we tell them to take it by force. This is why in most households, even when the son is the youngest, they are given the most respect in the absence of a father figure, in that house everyone should and must respect this king, if they don't they are punished. How many cases of younger male siblings beating up their older sisters for such things as talking back to them have you heard? When these boys finally have their own families and they cheat on their wives is not seen as dishonesty, it is seen as but the natural insatiable appetite of men.

We tell them they can rule over everything, including women's bodies. When one day they finally meet this girl or woman who refuses to give them what they want, it might be a kiss, a hug, a chance to date, or sex. How do you think they will respond? Will they willingly let her go? This same man that you have told over and over again that he can have what he wants, this same man that you have told can use force if what he wants is not given to him? Will he really let her go? 

History has taught us no. In Zimbabwe twenty-two women are raped on a daily average, there are fewer statistics on other sexual crimes.

So, ask me again why in this civilized world we still have so many cases of sexual harassment and I'll tell you again, it is because we don't teach our boys no!